The Sun
by ComingAndGoingByBubble
Summary: Sibella's been gone for five years.


She had gone away just like that.

In an instant, a second, a blink of an eye.

One moment she was here and the next she up and left.

Monty had exhausted his resources trying to find her. He became obsessed with locating her, searching high and low for her. He blamed Lionel at first, they both had. Blamed him for taking her away from them, blamed him for insisting that she follow him and be a wife to him, leaving them to fend for themselves.

But as the years passed, the blame shifted.

Maybe Sibella had wanted to leave. To escape.

Their arrangement had been far from conventional. Far from normal. Far from what any of them had expected an arrangement like theirs could ever turn into.

Maybe it all had become too much for Sibella.

Maybe she felt suffocated by all of it, by all of the needs, the wants, and different directions Phoebe, Monty and Lionel had pulled her in.

Monty had convinced himself that Sibella's sudden absence was all Lionel's doing, but Phoebe wasn't so sure.

Even now, she still wasn't. Here she was, five years later, wondering what had been the breaking point, what had caused it all.

Sibella hadn't gave them any indication that she was unhappy. There had been no signs of wanting to leave, and yet… Sibella had always been rather good at becoming cold and leaving people at the drop of a hat. It was just simply her nature. Sibella was a woman, through no fault of her own, who blew hot and cold at the same time, who was insecure even though she hid it, who could become icy to those who she loved for their own protection.

Phoebe had known that deep down Sibella hadn't felt herself deserving of this love, that she had ruined not only her own marriage, but Monty and Phoebe's as well. That she had caused all of this to happen.

She had confided to Phoebe quietly, away from Monty, for Monty would surely put her fears at ease, but that wouldn't quell the nagging voice in her head.

Maybe the taste of getting what she had always wanted had left her with a sour taste in her mouth, a bitterness that she could not rid herself of until she left the source of it all behind.

But how could Sibella have left her? Left her darling, precious Phoebe?

She knew it had hurt her to leave Monty, that much was clear. Sibella dearly loved Monty.

And Phoebe, Sibella was devoted to her. Worshiped her, would die for her.

Over the two years of their arrangement, the two had become close… closer daresay than it seemed like Sibella and Monty were.

And as devoted as Sibella was to Phoebe, Phoebe was thrice the times devoted to Sibella. She ached to be with her, yearned to see her smile, longed to kiss her lips.

Now she was just a ghost around Highhurst, one of the many spirits the castle seemed to be haunted by nowadays.

Monty rarely left his room. So, it was Phoebe who had to put on the brave face and venture out.

There had been a package for them that had been sent to the court's office in the town center. Monty refused to go, so Phoebe drew her cloak and went off in a carriage.

The colors of the passing trees and woods blurred together as they made their way into town, with Phoebe silent in the carriage.

The servants had been tiptoeing around them all for years. Ever since she left.

The carriage stopped. A hand was extended towards her. She took it and stepped out into the bustling town center.

It was a cloudy day, Phoebe half expected it to rain. Not that she minded anymore. She used to, back when she took care of her gardens, but now that Sibella had left, Phoebe hadn't seen the point of keeping up with them. She had only grown them to see Sibella smile at them, to kiss her in between each rose bush, to sneak touches between the rows of belladonnas…

None of that mattered now.

She made her way to the town office, leaving the servants at the carriage for her return.

The wind whirled around her, causing her to shiver and draw her cloak closer to her. A puddle emerged in her path and she glanced at her reflection.

One certainly would not call her a Countess in this state. Her hair had been done in a simple updo, but her face was taunt, pale, tired… haunted even. Her eyes no longer had a glimmer to them, her lips stayed in a faint frown.

Shaking her head at her reflection, not wanting to be bothered by the trivial things in life, Phoebe pressed on.

The office itself was easy to get to, the package even easier. Sooner than she anticipated, Phoebe found the errand done and over with. She exited the building to find it pouring outside, the sky opening up above her.

She drew her hood with one hand, the other holding the package. The rain blinded her, blurred her vision.

Soon she bumped into someone. The package fell into a muddy puddle with a splash.

Phoebe wiped the rain of her eyes, and looked up at who she had bumped into.

She went pale, for she was almost as sure as anything that she was seeing a ghost.

"Sibella?"

She stiffened, her hood half pulled over her face, but the half that Phoebe could see confirmed it.

What was she doing here? Why now? Why today?

Without thinking, Phoebe grabbed her arm, pulling her into an alleyway, away from the busy streets where cars drove through the rain, children ran to get home, couples huddled themselves to each other to keep warm.

The alleyway was not the best spot, in hindsight, but it would have to do. Phoebe could not, would not let her just leave without getting a word in edgewise.

"You left!" she shouted, trying to be heard above the sounds of the pounding rain.

Sibella's eyes looked at her shoes. She was soaked, her hood had fallen around her shoulders, letting that glorious blonde hair turn wet, that pink gown turn dark.

"I had to," Sibella said quietly.

"Because of Lionel?"

"No," Sibella shook her head, "Because I couldn't do it anymore. I ruined everything Phoebe! Your marriage, my marriage, everything! I had to leave…"

Phoebe hesitantly reached out and caressed a wet hand to Sibella's cold cheek.

Sibella let out something that was between a laugh and a sob at that. She averted looking at Phoebe's eyes.

"You only ruined us when you left," Phoebe told her. She dropped her hand, curling it back into the warmth of her cloak.

Sibella fidgeted with her hands. She still had her wedding ring on. The one Lionel gave her… and the one Monty gave her after their arrangement.

"I couldn't… You know how much I loved you both, but I had to… I didn't belong in your lives. You and Monty deserve each other."

"How dare you say that?" Phoebe's voice turned stern. Sibella jumped at the sound.

"It's-"

"It's not true! Monty and I are miserable! He refuses to leave Highhurst…. and I- I am broken without you," Phoebe admitted, tears falling from her eyes.

"Phoebe…"

Phoebe closed her eyes upon hearing Sibella say her name. She thought she'd leave hear her name leave Sibella's lips ever again.

"Don't- I- I have to go."

Sibella made to move, but Phoebe blocked her path.

"Phoebe," Sibella whispered, pleading. The sound of thunder crackled in the sky miles away.

"I miss you," Phoebe cried. "I miss your voice, your laugh, your touch. How can you deny me my wish to see you, to be with you, after all that we've been through?"

"It isn't done, Phoebe. The scandal of it-"

"Damn the scandal," snapped Phoebe.

Sibella bit her lip. Phoebe wanted nothing more than to kiss her then. Her fingers trembled at the thought.

"I think you're scared," Phoebe started, "You're scared of people who really love you, who really care because you don't think you deserve it. So you run, you hide, and you leave and pretend that you never cared about them and move on…"

Sibella was quiet.

"Go back to Lionel then," Phoebe forced the words out of her mouth. "I hope he makes you happy."

"You know he doesn't," Sibella said after a beat.

The rain seemed to be coming down harder, Phoebe was freezing, but she'd be damned if she was finished with this conversation.

"Then come back to us," she whispered, her lips mere inches away from Sibella.

Sibella ducked her head.

Phoebe felt like she had ripped out her heart then. She pulled away slowly, tears in her eyes.

"I miss you too, you know. Monty wasn't the only one who loved you," Phoebe muttered.

"I know." Sibella's reply was choked up.

Phoebe took a step away from her.

"Did you ever love me, truly Sibella?"

"Of course I did," Sibella's answer was quick. She raised her head to look at Phoebe, and all Phoebe could see was her golden hair, like the sun, her eyes were like the ocean.

It hurt.

Phoebe felt like she hadn't seen the sun in years, that the weather today had been the weather every day, that she had a storm to match her broken heart.

"You know," Phoebe started, "I keep asking myself "why isn't the sun bright anymore" but then I remember you're not in my life anymore and realize it's just my own eyes."

Sibella's face crumbled at that. Her mouth parted to say something, but Phoebe didn't give her the chance.

She walked away, through the torrential rain, back to the carriage. Her heart broke with each step.

She half wanted Sibella to run after her. To call out her name amidst the rain, embrace her and kiss her with all of the passion they had left unfinished.

But she didn't come.

She never did.

Phoebe didn't tell Monty about the encounter. It only would have hurt him.

But for the rest of her days, the sun remained dim and her heart remained broken.


End file.
